#Pitchwars Mentee Bio

markieand tank blogI have to write about 100 tweets today for my organization Christian Peacemaker Team’s #GivingTuesday campaign and I’m leaving town tomorrow to speak at a conference, so I’m kinda going to cheat by just pasting in a short bio from the first page of my blog:

Author Kathleen Kern has worked as a human rights advocate with Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) since 1993, serving on assignments in Haiti, Washington, DC, Palestine, Colombia, Democratic Republic of Congo, and with indigenous nations in the U.S. and Mexico. She has authored two histories of CPT– In Harm’s Way: A History of Christian Peacemaker Teams (Cascade 2009); As Resident Aliens: Christian Peacemaker Teams in the West Bank, 1995-2005 (Cascade 2010)–and her work has appeared in Tikkun, The Christian Century, and The Baltimore Sun. Her first novel, Where Such Unmaking Reigns, was selected as a finalist for Barbara Kingsolver’s Bellwether Prize.

If you go to the first page of my blog,you’ll see that people said some nice things about my Indie novel Because the Angels.  In addition to my @KathleenKern Twitter account, which reflects the mishmash of my writing and political life, I have an @FakeNovelPitch Twitter account, which, well, is like this:

  1. SciFi genre: In future, #CyberMonday is day Hallmark makes people feel obligated to give cyborgs, robots gifts, cards

  2. #Fantasy genre: Nomadic elves and dwarves battle over sacred campground before they erect their tents in #Pitchwars.

  3. #Dystopian: Big Corporation Sunday, to follow #SmallBusinessSaturday declared legal holiday. Citizens forced to shop.

  4. #Sportsfiction genre: Suzie perfects her metacarpal ball preparing to take on the Big League pitchers in #Pitchwars.

  5. #GraphicNovel: Scabby the Rat infects Chicago w/plague of lethal psoriasis. Will hospital workers unionize in time?

  6. #PoliticalThriller: Journalist Ace Tabby uncovers crypto-nazi from #PopcornTheTurkey‘s past; code name: Ayatollah Ebola

  7. #PoliticalThriller: Evil genius, #PopcorntheTurkey, leaks false intelligence that nuclear weapons cache found in Iran.

  8. #Dystopian genre: #Zombieapocalypse averted; Zombies lose all sense of meaning for their unlives; must enter therapy.

  9. #PsychThriller: Svengali behind #MileyCyrus personality change turns out to be pardoned sociopathic turkey Popcorn.

    I do take submissions for Fake Novel Pitches, by the way.  Rules are, you have to leave 21 characters for retweeting (that way, you get the credit); they can’t be racist, homophobic, sexist, etc.; absurd is good, and publication is entirely according to my whim.

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